Why Do Temper Tantrums Happen And How Do You Deal With Them?

Most people experience anger or frustration at some point in their life. The difficulty arises when these emotions get out of hand and explode disproportionately.

Temper tantrums are the most visible expression of anger and frustration. They can constitute a real problem of coexistence, because they generate suffering both in the people who undergo them and in their closest environment.

Anyone can get angry. It is an innate universal emotion and, as psychologist Paul Ekman has cataloged it, it is one of the six basic emotions.

The problem arises when people experience anger very intensely and the way they channel it is loss of control. Let’s take a look at what exactly temper tantrums are and some strategies for dealing with them better.

What is a temper tantrum?

Temper tantrums are episodes of anger in which people react disproportionately to the emotion of rage being felt. They are characterized by sudden onset, loss of impulse control, and violent expression of emotions.

This violence can be expressed verbally, by shouting and insults, although on many occasions it is also manifested by hitting objects, breaking them or attacking the body of an animal or animal. nobody.

Outbursts of anger are classified in the Diagnostic and Statistical Manual of Mental Disorders (DSM-V) as an intermittent explosive disorder. To meet diagnostic criteria, the following symptoms must be present:

• Recurrent behavioral crises that manifest a lack of aggressive impulse control. This includes verbal and physical assault on objects, animals or people.
• The reaction is grossly disproportionate.
• Outbursts of anger are not premeditated.
• Seizures cause significant distress to the person and affect job performance, relationships with others, or there is some type of legal or financial consequence.
• The person is over six years old.
• Recurring temper tantrums are not the result of another mental disorder, cannot be traced to another medical condition, or are not the result of addiction.

Causes of temper tantrums

According to the DSM-V, people who experienced emotional trauma in their childhood or adolescence are more prone to temper tantrums.

Intermittent explosive disorder is also more common in first-degree relatives of people with temper tantrums. In fact, studies on twins have shown a strong genetic influence on the onset of this disorder.

We also cannot forget that the disproportionate expression of anger is present in many mental disorders, such as schizophrenia or depression (Muscatello and Scudellari 2000 cited in Painuly et al 2005).

It can also appear in different types of dementia, such as Alzheimer’s disease, certain personality disorders or in situations related to substance use, such as withdrawal.

Why do some people react explosively?

Besides the aforementioned causes, the common denominator of all tantrums is that the person experiencing them perceives the situation as a humiliating offense. She actually feels an attack on herself or her loved ones and therefore reacts disproportionately.

The triggering stressor can be something that offends their ideology, their values, the way they act, their job, their family or even their football team. If the person perceives it as offensive and is going through a period of inadequate emotional management, the anger attack can occur at any time.

Strategies for dealing with temper tantrums

People who exhibit intermittent explosive disorder are not doomed to suffer from it all the time. Psychology offers many tools that can be helpful in controlling impulses. Some of the most common are the following:

• Meditation and Mindfulness : Practicing these techniques can help you distance yourself from the most distorted thoughts.
• Relaxation techniques : Tools such as Jacobson’s progressive relaxation can be effective techniques for the person to learn to better deal with all of the physiological part that is activated in an anger attack.
• Physical exercise : physical activity greatly helps relieve stress. In addition, it increases the level of transmitters such as dopamine and serotonin, which promote emotional well-being.
• Social skills training : Improving assertiveness is one of the most effective strategies. This will allow us to communicate more adequately in situations where temper tantrums appear.
• Cognitive restructuring : Distorted thoughts are, in many cases, the big trigger that generates the explosive reaction. Learning to detect them and replace them with more functional thoughts can make a big difference in life.
• Emotional intelligence : People with temper tantrums do not manage their emotions well. Therefore, another of the fundamental keys to increase their well-being will be to carry out a process of self-knowledge. In this way, the person will learn to recognize their emotions, to accept them and to let them go.

If you don’t know how to deal with your anger, get help

Temper tantrums are not easy to deal with at first. People feel that this is the only way they have to express their anger. No matter how hard they try to control themselves, they explode like a pressure cooker.

This causes a lot of frustration in the person and, in most cases, deep regret afterwards. No one likes to lose control.

If you or someone you know has it, don’t hesitate to see a mental health specialist. As we have mentioned throughout the article, it is possible to learn to manage your anger in a much better way.