What Happens When One Decides To End A Toxic Relationship

Even if the feeling of relief does not come immediately at the end of the toxic relationship, the last thing to do is start a new one to fill its gaps.

A toxic relationship wears out, alters identity, dilutes self-esteem. It distorts the very concept of genuine love, the noblest respect and a sense of coexistence.

We know the word “toxicity” is all the rage. We use it to designate abusive behavior, controlled or at the origin of emotional evil towards others. Each person must be carefully analyzed before falling into the trap of “counter psychology”.

Sometimes behind a one-off behavior there can be an affective disorder or a personality that needs attention and consideration.

We want to say, above all, that you have to be careful. Complex people and complicated relationships abound these days.

But a relationship where the other actually acts as the epicenter of illness, abuse and even psychological mistreatment is a typically toxic relationship.

If you’ve been through this before and managed to break out of that dynamic, you know the process isn’t easy. In this article, we are going to tell you about this topic.

Above all, we want to tell you that just cutting off that harmful bond with a toxic spouse doesn’t mean you experience immediate happiness and well-being. The process is neither easy nor quick.

Behind a toxic relationship there is a wound

Imagine for a moment that a person is taken by the hand into a very dense forest, full of branches and brambles.

This person lets himself be carried away because he has confidence in the other. But she knows that this trip will be exhausting, that she will lack air, that the branches will hurt her skin. Nothing that she sees in this environment seems beautiful or encouraging to her.

Finally, she decides to let go of this hand. To move away to feel free, to recover their happiness and let the other take another path.

When she does, she experiences very intense things, and at the same time contradictory:

• From this traumatic journey, she keeps many scars and wounds still open. She barely recognizes herself.
• She feels tired, exhausted, she is short of breath. And has no other remedy than to sit still for a while to recover.
• Lost in a place in the forest and confused,  she doesn’t know which direction to take.

With this image you will understand something very simple and interesting to dig into:

• When you come out of a toxic relationship, you feel relief, without a doubt. But the feeling of well-being is never immediate.

What we feel above all is a need for recollection. Finding yourself, locating your wounds, thinking, thinking about this moment in your life. And what we’re going to do now.

Time to heal, time to meditate

The last thing a person who has just left a toxic relationship needs to do is commit to a new relationship, which is nothing but a calming balm.

• No one can heal by letting themselves be carried away by an immediate relationship. It is neither therapeutic nor healthy.
• Because no one is obliged to mend our wounds. To play the role of the anesthetist, to nourish our dreams and our self-confidence.
• We need to put aside our hatreds, fears and frustrations to bring out our much stronger shells of intimacy.
• Whether we like it or not, we need to actually grieve. This will allow us to free ourselves from our emotions, to channel our anger. And then, little by little, to develop a resilient attitude that reminds us of what we are worth and what we deserve.

There is only once we love each other again that we will be willing to let go to find the right person.

My dignity does not accept “discount” nor new toxic relationships

We are sure that you know more than one person who, after a toxic relationship, has started another.

Falling into the same abusive and exhausting dynamics is more common than we think.

• This responds to a very concrete fact to reflect on. We need to “gather” our self-esteem and remember that our dignity is not to sell, or buy, or leave lying around in the pockets of others. It does not admit “discount” …
• Few principles of psychological well-being are as important as remembering that we deserve the best, that to love is not to suffer, and that harmonious loneliness will always be preferable to unhealthy, selfish, and harmful love.

To conclude, remember that just leaving a toxic relationship is not going to give you immediate happiness.

Above all, you need to repair yourself, to heal your self-esteem and your dignity so as not to fall back into wearing emotional dynamics.

Let any experience teach you to say “Never Again” to toxic love.

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