Prefer These 5 Alternatives To Punishment

Communication is the best way to teach your child the importance of mutual respect and the importance of fulfilling his obligations. Before resorting to punishment, discuss the problem with him and find a solution together. 

Punishment isn’t the only way to teach your child a lesson. There are alternatives, which will help it to develop better.

Some psychologists believe that screaming and spanking only works in the short term. Punishments do not correct a child’s bad behavior and, moreover, have a negative impact on his emotional health.

Do you remember how you felt when your parents yelled at you ? Of those times you cried after being spanked? Your child feels exactly the same when you punish him verbally or physically.

Alternatives to punishment

Your intention is to change your child’s bad behavior, but the punishments only humiliate him. This strategy is then useless to teach your child the right values ​​and to behave well.

Of course, your child will avoid repeating an action that has earned him punishment, but only out of fear of being scolded. In addition, he will see violence as a way to solve problems.

The best alternatives to punishment are those which really make the child understand that he made a mistake and which help him to evolve healthily.

Positive discipline is the most beneficial method of strengthening the parent-child relationship. This method is based on two key elements: tenderness and mutual respect.

That doesn’t mean you have to give in to your child’s whims. But it’s not about being too authoritarian either. This method involves being firm while considering your child’s feelings and needs, as well as your own.

Communication is one of those alternatives, and arguably the best, but sometimes it’s not enough.

There are other positive ways to let the child know that their behavior is wrong. Some books on raising children recommend, for example, the denial of permissions.

These refusals send the same message as physical reprimands, but without violence.

1. Before resorting to punishment, discuss the problem with your child.

It is essential to listen to your child and let him express himself. Don’t take the lead in telling him how he’s supposed to feel.

Many conversations turn into arguments because parents intervene too early in the dialogue. They interrupt their child who has not yet managed to clearly express his point of view, his feelings.

Even if you know what is going on in the child’s head, let him or her speak and be amazed. This will help your child to have confidence in himself when it comes to expressing himself.

When your child finally opens up to you, you can work together to find a solution to the problem.

2. Explain to your child that actions have consequences

Words make the difference. If you blackmail your child, the only thing you will get is for them to be afraid of you. It doesn’t teach him respect. He won’t understand his mistake.

Chat with your child. Explain that actions have consequences that can affect those around them.

You need to be firm and straightforward, but don’t let the sweetness out. Also, don’t forget to praise your child when he’s behaving well. He will thus know what is the right course to follow. Reward him with a fun family activity.

3. Require your child to do additional household chores

When your child is behaving badly, force him or her to do more housework.

It is a way to impose discipline without raising your voice and without resorting to physical reprimands.

4. Tell him to apologize 

You’ve probably already made your child apologize after behaving badly. But have you ever thought about the true power of these words? Immediate apologies do not make sense to the child.

Your child needs to think about his behavior and the conflict: he needs to understand how his actions have affected other people.

When your child is calm again, have a conversation with him about what happened. Ask her to explain the conflict, and you will see that the child will apologize on their own, naturally. These excuses make sense and are, of course, much more honest.

5. Give him several options, and let him choose 

When you impose punishment on your child, your child will feel frustrated and may then feel resentment and rage towards you. On the other hand, if you explain the consequences of his actions to him, he will learn the lesson.

Depending on the seriousness of their actions, offer them different alternatives as a “punishment”. Let him think it over: it will be up to him to choose.

These options can be: limited access to electronic devices, no more household chores, etc.

Conclusion on punishments

Punishing your child has negative consequences that are best avoided.

Do you really think that by depriving him of dessert or by confiscating his computer, you are teaching him something? Most likely, he thinks this is the way to behave with others when he feels frustrated.

In addition, you feed the feeling of guilt in the child. Generally, parents lift a punishment when the child starts to cry, without even making him understand the meaning of his bad behavior.

In this way, the child understands that when he is sad after a reprimand his parents will forgive him.