Over Time, We Learn To Love More But Fewer People

It’s an open secret, but true friends can be counted on the fingers of one hand. And over time, quality is more important than quantity in terms of emotional relationships.

We are closing our circle. We also do this while being aware that the positive for us is to make it more “select”, more solid and deeper.

It is not a very painful formality in itself since it is natural.

Marking distances and proximities more precisely and in accordance with our needs is something we do at one point or another of our life in the different places we inhabit.

We are not interested in having lots of people around us. Only the best count

Over time, we prefer the intensity of the contacts to the frequency. We like to have people by our side who are important to us and who we really love.

This is in part determined by how much time we have to hang out with each other and the interests and priorities we establish with others.

At 15, we like to be around people. Learn about new ideas and experiment. At 30 or 40, priorities change. They lead us to be more selective in our “battles”.

The deeper the friendship, the more pleasant it is

At some ages, it is very common to feel alone but accompanied. We then immerse ourselves in the search (explicit or not) for warm, pure, sincere and stable relationships. 

Some studies now provide the opportunity to state more clearly that each passing year helps us to prioritize quality over quantity.

We select and prioritize relationships with people with whom we connect more intensely because they bring us more social, emotional, cognitive and behavioral well-being.

A balance between all of these spheres helps us conceptualize friendship in an individualized way. The current emotional tendency is to define friendship based on what each relationship brings us.

That is, we become more precise and analytical when we cannot get away from the idea of ​​what each relationship brings to us. We are aware that there are several options and that it is in the plurality of being that there is wealth. 

This concept of friendship is so changing that sometimes we catch ourselves thinking about it.

It is nonetheless evident that, whether through experience or otherwise, we are becoming more inflexible. Slights are more painful and affect us more deeply. 

Adults find it heartwarming to see children arguing over a toy and hugging each other after a minute with inordinate love.

This is something we should think about more. Are the reasons for our anger and our distance so important that we lose a friendship?

We tend to place too much emphasis on trivial matters. So it often ends up limiting our ideals of feelings.

This detail, without a doubt, is an anchor in any relationship.

It is therefore common to judge the quality of negative things which are however insignificant in comparison with what the people around us bring us.

That is, we close our circle carelessly.

Emotional priorities in the different stages of life

Whatever personal reality accompanies this fact, we need to know that what our social reality changes is not inherently negative.

This is, without a doubt, something that at certain times of transition we find it difficult to come to terms with naturally. Let’s see what these steps are:

• In pre-adolescence and adolescence, there is great confusion regarding relationship matters. We are indeed looking for our place. We are also constantly composing and recomposing our circle of friends.
• Little by little, the more we engulf ourselves in youth, the more we put aside big meetings, crazy parties and social excesses. We start by giving priority to those with whom we discuss and who share our personal and psycho-social concerns.

• As we go through this stage, we like to be more peaceful and at ease. We feel loved and important. Develop thoughts and interests that stimulate our mind and our world in a more mature way.
• The more we evolve, the more we form a reference group around us, a few people we hang out with, with whom we share various thoughts, feelings, interests and games.
• In adulthood, the strongest friendships do not respond to the need to feign depth, but to feel it. 

We love people who tell us everything with their eyes, who approve and disapprove with complete freedom and who throw us to the lions if necessary.

The friendships that last over time have bonds that become bonds of brothers and sisters. Deep unions far from hypocrisy, selfishness and hidden worries.

Friendships that fill our soul with their fullness, with a co-pilot who guides us when something blinds us.